Milestones: birth to four years

Introduction

Babies and young children develop quickly in the first few years of life.

This section includes what you can expect your child to be doing in their first four years – often called developmental milestones. All children are different and some will do things faster or more slowly than others.

If you think your child is ‘out of step’ for their age, check with a community nurse or your doctor.

It is important that children get help early if they need it.

Brain development

In the early years, a baby’s brain grows faster than at any other time. What they feel, see and hear at this time affects how their brain develops. Good experiences lead to good brain development.

Babies and young children need warm, loving people to care for them and to respond to their needs kindly and consistently. They need to feel safe and secure in the world. This helps them to develop confidence and trust.

You can help by:

  • responding warmly and consistently to your baby’s cries
  • spending time talking and playing with them
  • sharing books every day with your child – right from birth
  • encouraging them to play and explore new things safely – a caring adult is their best toy.

Copyright

The information in this section was adapted from the Parent Easy Guide series © Parenting SA, Government of South Australia.


The first year

Babies have feelings from birth. They may feel content or uncomfortable but are not able to think about why they feel that way. They may pick up on and match your feelings such as when you are happy, calm or upset.

Birth to three months

From birth babies usually:

  • watch your face when you talk to them
  • turn to the side to suck when their cheek is touched
  • blink at sudden noises such as hand claps or a door slamming
  • open their eyes to normal speech sounds just as they doze off
  • suck well from breast or bottle.

By eight weeks they usually:

  • smile at you
  • move both eyes together most of the time
  • lift their head when lying on their tummy
  • kick both legs strongly
  • seem to listen to you and watch your face
  • make sounds other than crying, and ‘talk back’ to you
  • have sleep patterns that vary a lot.

By two to three months they usually follow your face or a moving light with their eyes.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby does any of the following:

  • is not smiling by eight weeks
  • does not calm down, at least for a little while, when picked up
  • is unusually floppy or stiff
  • has different muscle tone or strength in an arm and leg on one side compared with the other side
  • has unusually ‘good’ head control due to stiff muscles
  • always holds their fingers in a tight fist
  • is not startled by sudden noises
  • has feeding problems beyond normal range
  • cries for long periods or can’t be settled
  • is unusually good and not demanding
  • by three months, does not watch your face when you speak to them
  • by three months, is not making sounds other than crying.

Babies three to six months

Relationships and feelings

By this age babies usually:

  • make eye contact as you smile at each other
  • enjoy being played with, laugh and kick by four months
  • chuckle softly and laugh aloud by three to five months.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby does not:

  • seem interested in things around them
  • show delight in being with people
  • seem to know you or other familiar people.

Doing, seeing and hearing

Babies of this age usually:

  • enjoy looking at people and bright objects
  • enjoy watching people do things
  • react to familiar things with smiles, cooing and excited movements
  • turn their head to moderate sounds such as a normal speaking voice by three months
  • look at their own hands and play with their fingers by three months.

By three to five months they usually:

  • hold on to an object placed in their hand and briefly look at it
  • lift their head and chest when lying on their tummy
  • quieten or smile at the sound of your voice, or if they see you
  • turn their head or eyes towards you when you speak from beside or behind them.

By five to seven months, babies can usually roll from their back to their tummy.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby:

  • does not open hands or straighten fingers
  • does not kick their legs
  • has arms and legs that are bent most of the time
  • does not use both hands and both legs equally well
  • does not make eye contact with people or follow activities with their eyes
  • does not turn to look for you when you speak
  • is not startled by loud noises
  • is unhappy or unsettled most of the time.

Learning to talk

Babies usually:

  • make lots of little voice sounds such as squeals or grunts
  • take turns when ‘talking’ with parents
  • by five months, turn their head towards a person talking.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby does not make many voice sounds.

Babies six to nine months

Relationships and feelings

Babies of this age usually:

  • know familiar people and are unsure of strangers
  • become upset when separated from their main carer
  • delight in playing peek-a-boo games.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby:

  • does not show pleasure when seeing people they know well
  • does not make eye contact
  • cannot be comforted by a parent or close carer.

Doing

Babies can usually:

  • swap small items from one hand to the other
  • pick up items with their thumb and one finger
  • bang objects together
  • roll from their back to their tummy
  • sit for several minutes without using their hands for support
  • get into a crawling position on their hands and knees
  • start to look at and feel objects before taking them to their mouth
  • start to hold food such as a biscuit and feed themselves
  • look in the right direction for things that have fallen down
  • start to drink from a cup held by an adult
  • by eight months, move around more and roll and creep on their tummy.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby does not:

  • move around in any way
  • show an interest in or reach for objects
  • recognise you or other main carers
  • show interest in their surroundings or new objects.

Hearing and learning to talk

Babies usually:

  • turn towards quiet sounds
  • babble with sounds like ‘dada’ and ‘baba’ and then try to put babbling sounds together
  • recognise several words - eg: looks for Daddy if ‘Daddy’ is said
  • copy sounds made by other people.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby has not started babbling.

Babies nine to twelve months

Relationships and feelings

Babies of this age usually:

  • know familiar people and withdraw from strangers - by nine months
  • give cuddles
  • become anxious if their main carer is out of sight
  • stretch up their arms to be picked up
  • give clues to let you know they are hungry, or need a cuddle
  • love to be talked to and played with
  • copy gestures such as coughing or waving
  • cannot understand ‘no’ or ‘danger’.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby:

  • does not show pleasure when seeing people they know well
  • does not make eye contact
  • cannot be comforted by you or a close carer.

Doing

Babies of this age can usually:

  • point with their index finger
  • drop and throw things on purpose
  • pass objects easily from one hand to the other
  • sit unsupported
  • move around by crawling or ‘bottom shuffling’
  • pull themselves up to stand
  • walk while holding on to furniture
  • find a toy hidden under a cloth
  • pick up a crumb with tips of finger and thumb
  • stand by themselves and take a few steps forward, by eleven to thirteen months.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby:

  • holds their body stiff and cannot be put in a sitting position
  • is not moving around in any way
  • is not interested in new objects and does not reach for them
  • is not sitting by nine months.

Hearing and learning to talk

Babies usually:

  • look for quiet sounds made out of sight
  • shake their head for ‘no’ and nod their head for ‘yes’
  • show pleasure in babbling loudly
  • like to look at picture books and can say some sounds for certain pictures
  • by 10 to 12 months, turn to the direction a sound comes from
  • by 12 months, know and respond to their own name
  • by 12 months, say a few single words.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your baby is not babbling or making other sounds when someone talks to them.


Children aged one to two years

This is a year of firsts - first steps, first words, first tantrums. Most children are moving freely, running, climbing and exploring. They are self-centred and see everything and everyone as being there for them alone.

Relationships and feelings

By 18 months babies usually:

  • like to be cuddled
  • show different feelings and can easily move from happy to sad to angry
  • are afraid of strangers
  • show a strong attachment to you or a main carer
  • become upset when you leave - and may be clingy when you return.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler does not:

  • show preference for people they know well
  • seem to like cuddles.

By two years babies usually:

  • play near other children, but not yet with them
  • are unable to share or take turns.

Doing

By 12 months babies can usually:

  • pull themselves up on furniture
  • side step around furniture whilst holding on
  • push a small trolley along in a straight line.

By 18 months they can usually:

  • walk - at first with feet wide apart, until their balance improves
  • walk downstairs while holding your hand
  • fall over if they try to run
  • climb on to low furniture
  • place objects - like three small blocks - on top of each other
  • use a spoon right side up
  • start to scribble with a pencil
  • turn pages of a book
  • try to kick a large ball if shown how
  • pick up small objects.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler is:

  • not yet walking
  • not holding a spoon or is not able to get food into their mouth
  • not picking up small objects.

By two years babies usually:

  • explore more widely, open doors and drawers and push buttons
  • run fast without falling over when turning corners or stopping
  • squat steadily to pick up objects
  • bring a small chair to the table and sit on the chair at the table
  • walk backwards pulling a toy or trolley
  • get up without using their hands.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler is not walking steadily by two years, or is limping.

Learning to talk

By 18 months babies usually:

  • babble loudly to themselves and others
  • listen to what is said and understand a few things such as ‘no’ or ‘stop’
  • point to one or two body parts
  • follow simple instructions like ‘please get your shoes’
  • identify familiar objects when they are named
  • know and use eight or more words in addition to ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ - even if you are the only one who understands them.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler is not:

  • babbling a lot
  • starting to use some meaningful words
  • listening when people speak to them.

By two years babies can usually:

  • use at least 50 recognisable words
  • listen to things that are said to them
  • start to put two words together such as ‘daddy car’
  • remember two things at a time such as ‘please get the ball and bring it to Daddy’
  • join in with songs and nursery rhymes
  • point to six body parts
  • babble while playing, with a few recognisable words in the babble
  • tell you most of what they want with words, such as ‘outside’, ‘milk’, ‘want more’ or ‘go away’.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler:

  • is mostly silent while playing
  • does not respond when people talk to them
  • does not point to objects when named
  • uses signs, grunts or gestures but not words when they want something.

Children aged two to three years

This is a time when toddlers want to become more independent.

They have new things to learn and strong feelings to deal with.

They can lose control of their feelings and this can scare them.

They need lots of physical contact and reassurance that they are lovable.

Relationships and feelings

By two-and-a-half years toddlers usually:

  • will try hard to be independent and say ‘no’ a lot, or ‘me do’
  • are not able to control their feelings - tantrums are common especially when they are tired or frustrated
  • are not able to share with others or take turns
  • may try to resist attempts to stop them doing things
  • can play imaginative games like putting a doll to bed, driving a car around on the floor or feeding toys.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler:

  • has frequent tantrums
  • does not play with adults or older children.

By three years children usually:

  • try to copy adults and are able to be helpful, such as putting toys away
  • play games using lots of imagination and join in with other children’s play.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler:

  • is not playing imaginative games
  • becomes obsessed with certain objects
  • does not use toys as they are ‘meant’ to be used - eg: only plays with the wheels of a car, rather than pushing it along a ‘road’
  • is mostly ‘in their own world’ rather than interacting with others.

Doing

By two-and-a-half years children can usually:

  • climb on and off furniture
  • run smoothly and climb on play equipment
  • throw a ball more or less where they want it to go
  • kick a large ball gently but not always where they want it to go
  • stack five to six blocks
  • climb up stairs
  • feed themselves with a spoon and drink from an open cup
  • help to dress and undress themselves
  • be very active and resist attempts to stop them doing things. They don’t understand about danger.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler:

  • is not running smoothly, or has a limp
  • is far more active or less active than other children
  • cannot feed themselves most of the time.

By three years children can usually:

  • push or pull large wheeled toys around to where they want them
  • walk alone up and down stairs
  • push the pedals on a toy such as a tricycle
  • stand and walk on tiptoe
  • jump with both feet
  • kick a ball
  • throw and catch a ball with outstretched arms
  • undress and put on some simple clothes
  • copy a straight line when shown
  • eat with spoon and fork
  • begin to manage toileting. Some children will not manage this until they are nearly four years old
  • know that they are a girl or a boy.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler is not:

  • running as smoothly as other children
  • climbing skilfully.

Learning to talk

By two-and-a-half years children can usually:

  • understand a lot more than they can say
  • use well over 100 recognisable words. Many of the words will be unclear as they cannot say all of the sounds
  • put words into short sentences such as ‘look Mummy dog’
  • talk while playing
  • let people know what they want using words rather than gestures
  • realise that language can get others to respond.

By three years they usually:

  • talk clearly enough for strangers to understand some of what they say
  • use words such as ‘me’ and ‘you’ correctly
  • ask many questions starting with ‘what’, ‘where’ and ‘why’
  • listen to stories, and often ask for favourite stories
  • make up long stories while playing.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your toddler is:

  • not using words to let others know what they want
  • not talking clearly enough for parents to know what they want
  • in a ‘world of their own’ and does not respond when others speak to them.

Children aged three to four years

This is a time of moving from babyhood to childhood.

Children will know more words, can express some ideas and have a rich imagination.

They love to play and enjoy doing physical things.

Children are now learning how to get along with others, and to share and take turns.

They are happier to spend some time away from parents. They have less need for everything ‘right now’.

Relationships and feelings

By three to four years children can usually:

  • play cooperatively with other children some of the time
  • share and take turns - but cannot manage competitive games
  • be apart from parents more easily in places they know well
  • be more independent and not want help
  • show caring for other children in distress
  • use complex make-believe play
  • find it hard to know what is pretend and what is real.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your child is:

  • not interacting with other children or adults in play
  • overly aggressive with other children or withdrawn from them
  • repeating the same simple play activity over and over again for long periods.

Doing

During this year children usually begin to:

  • climb ladders
  • walk along a plank
  • stand, walk and run on tiptoes
  • use pedals on a tricycle and turn safely
  • stand on one foot for several seconds
  • hop up and down on either left or right foot at least once without losing balance
  • learn to cut with scissors
  • roll or bounce a ball
  • catch a ball with both hands, and throw a ball overarm
  • eat well with a spoon and fork
  • manage toileting - they may still wet the bed or have accidents when they are stressed or tired or are busy playing and forget to go to the toilet
  • enjoy helping adults around the house
  • start to draw pictures of people
  • sort and match - identify small and big
  • play pretend games such as super heroes and imaginary friends
  • dress without help (except zips and buttons)
  • explore and collect things.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your child:

  • is not doing the above activities as well as other children
  • cannot jump with two feet together
  • is not able to be toilet trained and is still ‘wetting’ during the day, by four years
  • is starting to ‘wet’ again during the day after becoming dry.

Learning to talk

By this age children can usually:

  • use four to five word sentences
  • talk in complex sentences that are mostly grammatically correct
  • say things most people can understand - even if there are sounds they cannot make, for example. s, r, z, th, v, f
  • enjoy stories and jokes
  • ask lots of questions about the world such as ‘why?’ and ‘how?’
  • tell you how old they are
  • talk about what happened yesterday and about tomorrow
  • start to put together pieces of a simple puzzle.

Talk to a community nurse or your doctor if your child:

  • does not speak clearly - and you can’t understand them most of the time
  • is not talking in sentences of three or more words
  • is not able to follow simple instructions
  • is not talking during play
  • does not seem to understand what parents say to them.

More information

If you are worried that your child seems out of step with others of the same age, talk with your doctor or community nurse.

Find out more, including where you can get further support, on the following pages: